.defeated.

The darkest night,

The silent breeze,

Defeated by the lone candle.

The brightest candle,

The fresh flower.

Defeated by the cold wind.

The warmest wind,

The colorful picture,

Defeated by the endless time.

.entwined.

meeting by chance,

friendship by choice,

love, the entwined saga ...

The Black and White Queen

The echoes of eternity,
The zephyr of time,
Silenced by her.

Speechless & Frozen in Time,
Chained to the enigma that is her,
I Dance to the Sonata which is her.

She is the Symphony of Light,
The perfect Hues and shades of love,
Behold!! The Black and White Queen.

~*~

My First set of Haiku Poems.

Snowed In

When did the soft rain turn into a snowfall? I know not…

When did the warmth of the sun fade away? I know not…

When did the birds stop singing? I know not…

When did the landscape turn grey? I know not…

When did the leaves fall off? I know not…

When did I lose myself in the snow? I know not…

When did I turn from the path in front of me? I know not…

But one thing is for certain, Winter is here at last.

Of Pain & Death...

This was drafted a very long time back, almost a year back. I perchance came upon it while talking to a friend about Death and Feelings. So after a small re edit here it is finally.
Here is the thing... everyone is afraid, most often of themselves, of their own cognitive reality and to some extent their feelings. They talk on love, about how great it is, but it’s not so. Love hurts, loving someone even more so. Feelings are depressing and painful, jubilation also; it paves the way for a depressing mind.
One is told repeatedly that pain is evil and dangerous and that it is to be avoided. How can one deal with love then, if they're afraid of pain? Pain is meant to make us feel alive. People try to hide it (myself included). But we are wrong!! Pain is like a scar, it is to be lived with, like a case of fine wine we keep to mature. Experiencing pain strengthens us, makes us who we are. It's all in how we deal with it, how we carry the pain. (That is of prime Importance) Pain is a feeling, probably the only one tangible enough to sustain on. Our Reality includes our pain, our feelings, and our dreams. So why would you avoid pain?
But if one indeed seeks liberation from pain, then the only way is to let Death claim you. For that is the only way to escape your reality completely, for Death is a void, a black hole, the end of existence; you can’t experience anything more after that (The termination of self itself), but the conundrum thus far unanswered is this “Nothingness” after death… we are quantifying this equation, by placing ourselves there. How can one fall into this nothingness, and remain there for the said eternity?
That said and done, what are you going to do? What path will you choose?
As for me I always say that pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. Moreover I am Immortal… so far so good…

I Love you.

I love the following individuals in my life; they have been with me through the waxing and waning of happiness, and the tides of sadness that come with it… (they are the people who I know will walk, not in front of me, nor behind me but with me as I take life by the horns, till death takes me…even though a few of them I have met recently… it would seem that we have walked together for an eternity, an eternity of happiness … protection at times and mischief other times…) Listed below are they and in what regard I hold them.

My Mahāmāyā, She is the strongest individual I have known. She is Spartan for words, but still has enough for me whenever I go wrong. My metamorphosis for her was a bitter sweet event for her, but I rest assured that she will back me up and support me no matter what course of action I take. She is also my best friend and well wisher she is first of 3 who knows the Identities of all mentioned here I have no secrets from her. About her I shall not speak any more, for enough has been written already.
My pātrōnus, he is the Master of all trade, Him I look to imitate, his footsteps I try to follow. He is the most disciplined Individual I have ever come across. There is nothing he has said or done without calculating at least 20 steps ahead. Whatever I have done and accomplished he has been the Trigger, to him and him alone I attribute my spoils till date. His take on any issue is objective and practical, an aspect which I try with all my strength to achieve but fail most often. He has been there and done that. When playing against him, the ball is always in his court.
My Tigress, She is the epitome of success. I was upset when she did not follow her dream, which I am sure would have lead to a revolution in that field, but I was glad because she continues to excel in the field partly chosen for, and rest by her. She is a born fighter and a hopeless romantic at the same time.
My Mistress, She is the one Individual who defines me, the one individual who I share all my secrets with. The second of 3 individuals who know the Identities of all mentioned here. Nothing more shall be revealed about her.
The Sage, He is my oldest friend, His counsel Means the world to me. I shall not be revealing much about him too. He also happens to be the third of the 3 who know the Identities of all mentioned here.
My Little Bounty/Glinda, She is like my sister. When the tide pulls in she is there to help me out. Her little words of wisdom which she meticulously searches and types out, makes better a day going bad, she has been the only one who somehow senses my day and sends out messages to uplift me. She is Glinda, she always knows.
My Consigliere personale, He is like my Blood Brother. He is the one with who I shall conquer the entire world. With him by my side I have no fear of failure. In his own rights he is a force to be reckoned with. He is a natural athlete. And the best thing about him is the fact that when he makes up his mind no one can change it. He has a resolve like the Mountains and he will be there for me till the very end, like I for him.
My Maiden of Conversations, She is the Personification of a riddle. She is both the extremes when it comes to lifestyle, a devout devotee and a party animal. There is no one single Title for her. Her take on any solution is very unique and very perspective. She is a person to whom I can go and discuss anything under the sun. She will always have an opinion be it Religion or Society or Science. Conversations with her have been in a level that I have so enjoyed and cherished that I have no words to describe them.
My Fellow Shinobi, He is like the ultimate storehouse of energy, He is game for anything and everything under the sun, a store house of information, and he has an opinion on everything, more often than not it’s pretty valuable. He can also get very objective at times, which I would call his greatest strength. He is cool and level headed under fire. He is also one of the few people I will go to when I am in trouble. Conversations with him have been interesting and Debates have been even more so.
My Healer, although titled as my healer, this individual is also my bodyguard and councilor. Through various punishing trials she has a resolve forged in steel. She is one of the few individuals who hears me out completely, yet it is in my nature not to open up to her completely, so I hide stuff from her occasionally. Maybe one day, when I am Stronger I will open up, but that day is yet to see the sun. And I fear that it might never come to pass. She is also the first Individual I have come across who can be punishing and warm at the same time to the people she is close to. She is one who has the guts to follow her dreams and achieve it.
My princess of Mildendo, She is the person with whom I have the uncanny ability to talk on ends about totally random threads. She is also my councilor and is a person who is very special to me. What I like best about her is the fact that she is a survivor, and she displays her spoils and scars alike with pride. The only other thing I will reveal about her is that her stature is similar to the Princess of Mildendo.
The Hunter, The Slayer & Chaos, They are protégé turned masters. There are few who can defeat them. They too are people with rock solid determination. They are people who go all out on whatever they set their minds on. They are and will always be my friends, competitors and Inspirations. The adventures we have had are for the books and milestones in my life. My go to people when I am in trouble.

Finally,
Death, He/she is the only one exception from the people who I have mentioned above, id est he/she is the only one who walks behind me, Keeping a watchful Eye on me. Under his/her glance I live my life prepared to walk with him/her when the time comes. I consider him/her to be one of my greatest critics and I am sure that when I am alone with him/her, he/she will have a lot to talk to me about, cause for the time being he/she seems to be rather quite.

I Love all of them, yet I am not in love with them. I hope that made sense.

~*~

If you are reading this, and have been mentioned above... Then the following words for you: "Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it."

A Loss of Words...

She called out to me again today…

She was upset, upset that I had not been in touch with her. Its has been only 4 weeks since I last spoke to her, but for her as she put it, sounded like 4 millennia….

I will not lie, I always feel good when I talk to her, and she is the very essence of my being.

But I still ignored her.

I heard her silent plea for acknowledgment and yet I ignored her….

She is my mistress, my mistress of the night, sometimes I sit late at night gossiping with her, she completes me, makes my day. Talking to her is like reliving the memories of yesteryear when all was good, nothing was out of place… but that time is now only a distant remembrance, and I can only live them through her.

With her it was always bright and sunny, sitting beside her in the pleasant shade, life was bliss, but now… I found joy in the rain, in the constant patter of the rain that beckons me to dance, like the newborn who finds warmth in the bosom of its mother, I found joy. I felt guilty.

Guilty cause I was doing the one thing she told me not to, like me she feared the storm but unlike me she did not embrace it.

I walked down that path, enduring it, companionless, even when all hope was lost; I still stumbled on, picking my self up where I fell, starting from scratch where I lost everything. I Endured. I endured it alone.

Through me she endured it too… she survived the storm. For a moment I though she would join me, dance with me, become my muse again. But it was not so.

For that I punished her, I stopped speaking to her.

She was my healer, my councilor and my missy… I wonder now if she missed me the way I did her.

Like the crying child misses its mother, I missed her.

Then without warning the urge to talk to her again set in … this urge could not be ignored even, even blocking it out did not seem to work … so I sat down with her and made amends. I admit it felt like nirvana…

She started off by telling me how I have changed. How dancing in the rain, has changed me, how finding joy even in despair changed me. I liked it. I made a vow that day, to keep in touch, silently making a resolve to show her how liberating dancing in the rain is. She is my mistress once more.

For the moment I ignore her, because for the first time in my life I am at a loss of words, I don't know where to begin, where to end...

I wish I could tell you, but I can’t find the words....

Sometimes we put walls up not to keep people out, but to see who cares to break them down.

This Post is dedicated to my Mistress, without whom I would not be the individual I am today

~*~